i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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