you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
