we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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