think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
