dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
