Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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