Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
