well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
