this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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