im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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