You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
