my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Duck Duck Cougar?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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