I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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