I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
