I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
