i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
