She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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