VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
