some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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