We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
