you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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