I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
