think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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