I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
