seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
