I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
