Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."