he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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