Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.