People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
