just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
