So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
