my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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