i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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