I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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