is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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