I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
