We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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