your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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