you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
