After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
