I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
