So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
