Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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