forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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