apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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