She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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