We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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