About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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