Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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