Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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