a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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