Im at strip club and am horny
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
