redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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