I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
