I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize