I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
