I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
