Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
