so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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