Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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