So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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