East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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