I looked at my own cervix.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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