How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
