2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
