Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
