We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize