I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
